i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
