I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
