Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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