I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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