Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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