I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
