I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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