i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
