Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
