Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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