all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
