can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
