The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
