dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize