It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My apartment stinks of burning failure
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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