yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
