he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
