Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
