If i come over, it means nothing
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
