My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
