Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
