Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
