I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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