and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
