That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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