There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize
