I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
