i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize