why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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