Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize