Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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