hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
