We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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