In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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