I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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