I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
