Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
