he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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