You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
