grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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