i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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