Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think i got beer on your cat.
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