i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
