so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
