this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There r osticjed everywhere
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
