I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
