mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he shaved USA in his pubs
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
