We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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