he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
