i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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