Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
