Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
