i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize