The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Your cock deserves a montage
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
