He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
