You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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