First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
