I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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