My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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