Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This baby is an asshole
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
