is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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