so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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