you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
