yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
