3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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