I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
