Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
