can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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